I faked an abortion last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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