You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
