The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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