just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well I just put wine in my tea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
