Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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