A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
