Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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