it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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