awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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