I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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