Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
