vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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