Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
