I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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