i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
