I swear she didn't look like that last week.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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