found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
