Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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