So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
