i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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