even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
