So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
