So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
