what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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