Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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