Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
