Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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