How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
