i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize