used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
