hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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