Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize