Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
