there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
