Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
