Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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