I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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