that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
