That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
