"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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