do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
