If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
