singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
