If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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