Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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