susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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