I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
