His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
