"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
