okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish i was in the wii world.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
