It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
