OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
