I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
