Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
