Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to stick my p in your. b.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
