The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize