How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There's even glitter on my cock...
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