she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
