is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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