i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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