All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
