GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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